Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
