SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
is wine microwaveable?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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