so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
where are you?
Hypothermia
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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