It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
