Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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