If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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