I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
