She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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