Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
