I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
