Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
