Christians are straight up FREAKS
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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