Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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