how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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