her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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