i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
