What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Blood and glitter go together right?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
