He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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