talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
