Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
