who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
