You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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