at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
