Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
