you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
