Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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