I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
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The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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