Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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