I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
