how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
