i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am available for nakedness
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
