Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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