i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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