turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
