Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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