Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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