we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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