So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
