taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
