chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
