So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
