Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
