Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
