How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize