He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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