But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
