I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
