he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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