I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
