I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
