4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
