my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize