also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize