so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
