Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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