just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
