last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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