Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
