i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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