I'm drive I can fine osifer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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