whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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