do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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