I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
