i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
