I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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