they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
