I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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