Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
