the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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