she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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